I don't really know how to tell YA'LL this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it last year in your closet and I saw you knock out my mustard soufflé. I'm sure you're senile enough to understand that I'm open (lolwhut). I'm returning the pictures from LA to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory. You should also know that I always will remember our friendship.
this is seriously.. mean.
this is not a real letter, obviously. i'd never tell them to go burn ewe